


Before x And x After

by MerpsiclesTheGreat



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Modern AU, Romantic Tragedy, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:19:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7412836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerpsiclesTheGreat/pseuds/MerpsiclesTheGreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those years together had been perfect. I mean, perfect...Finding the love of your life after years of hell looks like the forecast for a college med. student and a depressed adopted child. A friendship of four blossoms into two destined romances, but love hurts just as much as it heals. [My contribution to @hxhbb 2016, art by @ceruleanqueen , both users on tumblr.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before x And x After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hunter x Hunter: Big Bang!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Hunter+x+Hunter%3A+Big+Bang%21).



> DISCLAIMER: I do not own or claim to own any part of Hunter x Hunter, a fantastic manga by Togashi Yoshihiro. All rights, ideas, concepts, and anything Hunter x Hunter related belong to the respective owners.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Though the beginning is all happy, adorable, and fluffier than a stuffed animal, this story leads up to a lot of angst. Along with hints of an abusive past, the end displays graphic details of a character suffering through depression and possible suicide. Major character death. Read at your own discretion.
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hello to anyone that decided to continue reading from that point on! xD Thank you for reading my story that crept from the depths of my tortured psyche. This is my contribution to the very well organized Hunter x Hunter Big Bang 2016!! I hope you enjoy this depressing fudge.

**Before x And x After**

Fan Plot by MerpsiclesTheGreat

 

**_Lives Can Change_ **

 

“Uh, one caramel frappachino with...uh...a dash of whip?”

 

“Is that a question or an order?”

 

“Shut up and get the stupid drink.”

 

Killua pressed the cash register buttons frustratedly, repeatedly getting the order wrong. The formerly patient customer, sighing irritatedly, received a healthy serving of death glares from the inexperienced intern doing very little right.

 

Fourteen-year-old Killua Zoldyck was still adapting to the new environment caused by moving to a new town with a new legal guardian. Killua’s previous parents were violent, and that often impacted the whole family, too. Investigators say the delirious parents were hellbent on raising emotionless children capable of being assassins. CPS certainly didn’t appreciate that, so all the Zoldyck kids were separated. Killua was stuck with a lanky, elderly-looking college student as his “dad” (which Killua promptly never called him unless his sarcasm could be seen visually dripping from his saliva).

 

Leorio Paladiknight, recently at the legal adopter age, took pity on the kitten-like child of the orphanage and took him in without thinking of the consequences. Now, he has several jobs to pay for medical school books and all apartment bills. Luckily, with his full ride scholarship, that’s all he needs to pay, but it’s still a lot to handle. Since Killua gets lonely, being forced to stay at home during Leorio’s long days with no school to occupy him, he decided to tag along one day. Buhara, Leorio’s boss, saw it as an opportunity for a free worker. Great.

 

Many irritated scoffs and harsh button mashing later, the young tomboy and her elaborate elder brother finally got their order. Leorio promptly began working on the small coffee and pastry while Killua attempted caring for the next in line.

 

“Hi, welcome to Buhara Cafe, whaddya want?” Not-so-subtle anger tainting his tone.

 

“Excuse me? You want to try that introduction again, you punk?” Killua’s brow twitched. Who was this chick? There’s no way she was any older than himself, and here he was being talked down to. Pigtails continued loudly before he could retort. “I may look young and idiotic like yourself, but I’ll have you recognize me as your elder.”

 

Leorio, previously planning to intervene, failed to restrain a chuckle. The short customer huffed angrily before whipping her ID out of her wallet. Both workers leaned in to inspect the tiny information, and they repulsed with shocked expressions unanimously. 

 

“Huh?! No way, this brat is actually an old hag!” Two fists collided violently with the back of Killua’s head. 

 

“Kil’, you don’t act that way to the customers. You can think about it, just don’t say it.”

 

Leorio lightly brushed Killua away and began apologising to the customer. As the white haired child ushered himself to a table, he overheard the customer convince Leorio, in a much sweeter tone, to call her Bisky instead of “ma’am”.

 

Unmotivated to work, Killua brought out his portable game system he owned since he was four and leaned lazily in his chair to play. He got lost in his game, performing skilled combos and finding memorized secrets in the overworld. It was a mostly secondhand nature that didn’t require all too much focus, but he still didn’t notice the second pair of eyes on his screen until amazed commentary seemed to come from thin air.

 

“Wow! How did you do that?? Woah, are you okay?”

 

Nonstop questions and comments streamed from the spiky haired, hazel eyed child who caused the frightened messy haired, sapphire eyed child to end up on his back. The two kids stared at each other for a while before Killua, in his rushed attempt to end awkward silence, decided to collide his skull with the stranger. Both children ended up on the floor, holding their heads and writhing while other customers watched uncomfortable from a distance.

 

One customer, secretly gracious to have a distraction stopping the irritating barista from hitting on him any further, sighed with irritation and dismissively slapped a twenty dollar bill on the counter. Leorio picked up on the other’s behavior and decided to pry further.

 

“That black haired one yours, Kuropiko?” Leorio pointed vaguely, leaning in more to the irritated customer. “Seems like he’s encountered my little rascal.”

 

“If you’re going to hit on a stranger, the least you could do is get their name right, Mr. Paladiknight.” The well dressed blonde brushed his long hair dismissively with a huff. “It’s Kurapika. As an apology for my friend’s behavior, I’ll refrain from castrating you and even let you keep the change.”

 

Leorio laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck. He glanced over to the two youths who were actively enjoying some kind of conversation. Only pure, innocent happiness formed the features on their faces. “Well, they seem to be having fun.”

 

Kurapika noticed the other’s body relax, a blissful smile curling his lips. Leorio, though he only knew Killua for two years, was aware of the teen’s distant personality and hostility towards others. Though he’d never admit it, he was happy to see the little devil finally open up to another person. At his own age, no less!

 

“Huh? Really?” Killua gaped at his new friend, Gon’s, story. Surprisingly similar to his own, Gon was taken to an orphanage at the young age of five because of his dad dealing on the black market. His mom had left years ago, so Gon was taken to an orphanage where Kurapika found him later on. Even though he wasn’t of legal adoption age, he was on good terms with the Mayor because of exceptional citizenship and community service or whatever. Kurapika quickly took a liking to Gon’s sweet and innocent nature and instantly took him into his care. They had been together for four years and remained glued to each other’s sides.

 

“Yeah, it was kinda weird,” Gon laughed lightly. “Dad was obsessed with making some kind of powerful underground weed company or something. I think he was gonna call it ‘Freecs Weed’ and even put a trademark on it.”

 

“Wow, he sounds like a moron,” Killua said, waving his hand dismissively. “You can’t just have a brand of weed, put it on the black market, and expect no cop will find out about it.”

 

“What’s this about black market weed, Kil’?” Killua jumped, startled for the second time that day, before turning abruptly to Leorio smirking deviously behind him. “Didn’t I say that if you’re gonna be doing drugs, to at least invite me?”

 

While Killua loudly protested his innocence, Kurapika began lightly scolding and prying Gon for information about his conversation.

 

“Gon, you can’t just tell random people about that.” Kurapika’s goal was to scold him, but his voice softened to sound more like a mother threatening to tickle-tackle their child. 

 

“But Killua’s not a random person anymore!” Killua spun on his heels in response to hearing his name. The two teens looked at each other, a huge smile plastered on Gon’s face. “He’s my friend now!”

 

Hearing the word “friend” coming from the former-stranger’s mouth caused something to stir within Killua’s gut, following a twinge of unidentifiable emotion. Happiness? Fear? Excitement? Though he couldn’t tell what he was feeling, he certainly knew one thing:

 

Gon was his friend.

 

That in mind, joy spread on like butter on toast, Killua pulled the work pen from his belt and scrawled his cell phone number on an order sheet. “Here, friends gotta stay in touch!”

 

Gon nodded eagerly and accepted the slip of paper. “Sure! I’ll send you my 3DS friend code. Think you could show me how you did that slash combo thing in Greed Island?”

 

“Yeah, after I destroy you in PVP.”

 

Before Gon could retort, Kurapika grabbed his shoulder with the gentle guardian touch to earn his attention. “Alright, Gon, we got to go now. Knuckle has been waiting for half an hour.”

 

“But Pikaaaa…” Gon whined, slouching and flailing his arms dramatically. “You said I could get a snack before we go...and the dumb math tutoring can wait.” Killua subconsciously felt Gon drifting closer to him, but he brushed it off as a figment of his imagination. Regardless, he felt somewhat humbled that his new friend was working so hard to stay with him. Though, he mostly just REALLY didn’t want to do anything math related.

 

“You’re not failing another test, Gon. Now come on, let’s go.” Gon groaned in protest, but clung to Kurapika’s satchel strap to be lead properly and waved goodbye to Killua. He waved in return before being knocked over completely by Leorio dashing to hand Kurapika a slip of paper.

 

“My number, for when you need more of my lines to  _ pick _ you up through the day.” Killua slammed his face to his palm in shame, Gon laughed insultingly, and Kurapika looked as irritated as ever. Despite his lack of amusement, the blonde took the sheet and gingerly placed it in his bag.

 

“Maybe I’m just in the mood to be humored, but I think I’ll take you up on your offer. Alright, Gon, let’s go.” The two left, leaving Leorio and Killua to stare at their backs.

 

“That was super lame, you know,” Killua huffed, shaking his head.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t gonna let a fourteen-year-old one up my romantic attempt.”

 

Killua’s face felt like fire, letting his fists clench and voice raise to compensate. “H-Hey! I made a new friend! I’m not on the same gay-genda as you are!”

 

“HEY! Are you two slacking again?! Get back to work!!”

 

Buhara’s booming voice echoed through the cafe, causing Leorio and Killua’s bickering to a halt. Those two idiots should be considered geniuses for instantly rushing to their posts to work harder than they ever had before.

9:00 PM arrived slowly and, after a lecture from Buhara, Leorio and Killua made their way home. Since their minimal budget didn’t qualify for any permanent mode of transportation, the two boarded the last bus of the day.

 

“You’re going to work tonight, right?” Killua claimed the window seat, absorbed by his game.

 

“Yeah, and I’m working late, too.” Leorio decompressed in the seat beside him and massaged the bridge of his nose. “There’s leftovers in the fridge, but don’t eat it all. Save some for tomorrow.”

 

“You gonna eat?”

 

“Yeah, I saved some from lunch today.”

 

The duo remained in strained silence, observing the scenery rush by, slow to a stop, and gradually speed up again. Fifteen minutes crawled by before Leorio stood, cracked his back, and gathered his briefcase holding his other work clothes. He lightly ruffled Killua’s white, fluffy mess.

 

“Alright, kid. I know it’s late, but don’t forget to eat.” Killua grabbed the hand in his hair before Leorio could retreat. He spoke low and monotone, refusing to make eye contact.

 

“Uhm...I...I can go with you tomorrow...right? At the cafe?”

 

Sadness glossed his eyes, and Leorio started massaging the troubled scalp.

 

“Sorry, it’s Saturday tomorrow. I need to go to school right after, so I wouldn’t be able to drop you off--”

 

“I could come with you to school! I promise I won’t be too loud!”

 

“Kil’, come on. I gotta get to work.”

 

Killua shook as he choked down his tears and lowered his hands in defeat. The elder left a few more pats on his head and rushed to leave the crowded bus. Killua waved to him through the window, but Leorio didn’t notice in his rush.

 

The remainder of the forty-five minute ride home consisted of Killua watching the scenery blip by and glaring at his reflection in the window. When his stop arrived, he grabbed his back and shuffled off without a word.

 

Around ten minutes of walking later and Killua arrived to his humble abode: the cheapest apartment around. He never complained about his living arrangement. Even when the weathered floorboards threatened to snap under his light step. Even when the disease-ridden bugs, so accustomed to human interaction, stopped scurrying away. Even when the inconsiderate neighbors had their fun a little too loudly. He never complained because he wasn’t in his old house. He was always scared in his old house, always alone.

 

That’s why he wanted Leorio to be there. He had flashbacks when he was alone.

 

He turned the rusted key into the rusted lock to enter the apartment. He took a direct path to the refrigerator and opened it to search its contents. 

 

Suddenly, his head started pounding.

 

Killua bit back a cry when he felt the sharp, familiar pain like a needle being forcefully thrust into his eyeball. He fell his knees, creating a powerful thud that reverberated across the floorboards. Images of his blank faced family towering above him, looks of disgust armed with daggers.

 

Two of the figures stood out the most, almost highlighted with blue. His brother--soulless, unreadable eyes with malicious intent--and his creepy clown boyfriend, What’s-His-Face, observing with mysterious feeling shaking his being. They were a perfect pair, the brother abusing Killua’s fragile body in the name of “increasing his tolerance” while the clown watched encouragingly.

 

Whenever these flashbacks came without warning, he could feel the sudden pricks of a small needle on various parts of his skin. He flinched at every one, though he tried to tell himself they weren’t there. Tears threatened the corners of his eyes, but this time they never came. Killua’s painful flashback came to a slow halt as he took time to process the sound of his ringtone. He groggily blinked the haunting images from his mind and reached for his phone. 

 

He saw three new text messages by the same unknown number.

 

(XXX)-XXX-XXX 9:56 PM:  _ “Hey! :P its gon! Sry 4 the late text, i had stupid math tutoring >^<” _

 

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX 10:31 PM:  _ “Woah u asleep?? U sleep early @-@ jus txt me tomoro then xP” _

 

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX 10:50 PM:  _ “poops i 4got the friend code xD eeeeh, ill txt it l8r, ds off” _

 

Something tight in his chest unfurled as he allowed a smile to spread on his face. He added the number as a contact instantly before responding.

 

Killua 10:51 PM:  _ “yo i’m still awake ;p that was a lotta texts lol” _

 

Gon 10:51 PM:  _ “o cool! :D i was kinda bored XP what r u doin?” _

 

The two texted back and forth for a long time. So long that Leorio came back with a bubbly Killua curled up on the old couch next to a empty paper plate holding the remains of an old pizza.

 

“Kil’? You’re still awake?”

 

The kid in question only acknowledged the question with a partial nod, eyes still glued to the screen.

 

“Kil’, it’s one in the morning. Why are you still up?”

 

When no answer came, not even a gesture, Leorio dropped his briefcase with a sigh and hunched over to the giggling white haired kid. One glance at the screen answered all of his questions and even raised some new ones.

 

“Ooooh, I see. Talking to Gon, huh?”

 

Killua nodded, again refusing to shift his focus.

 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your boyfriend’s company so much.”

 

Killua instantly shot up from his seat, face burning with more intensity than before, and spun to face Leorio.

 

“H-He’s not my boyfriend! I only met him today!”

 

“And you’re already head over heels for the little guy. Ah, young love. How I remember the days of my first crush…”

 

“I...He...W...H-He’s not my crush! He’s just a friend I met and we’re texting and…”

 

“I don’t think someone just texting a friend would giggle and blush as much as you are right now. Alright, now get to bed.” 

 

“I’m not up just to text Gon! I...I had some work I wanted to do! I needed to…” Killua tried to spit his planned comeback in a smooth manner, but he got distracted by his message tone. Leorio snickered as Killua checked it, perhaps, a little too eagerly.

 

Gon 1:36 AM:  _ “bwaaah sry pika caught me ;( i gotta go sleep now. Nite!” _

 

He tried his best not to express his obvious disappointment, but it seemed Leorio already knew by the smug grin plastered on his face.

 

“Uhm,” Killua nervously stared at his screen. “W-Well...It’s not healthy to stay up so late. You should sleep! And...I read somewhere that...people sleep better when others in the house are sleeping too! So...I’ll go to bed, too.” Killua slyly dipped his phone into his sweatshirt pocket and walked away, pretending not to hear Leorio’s psychotic howls of laughter.

 

“Kil’.”

 

Killua turned towards a stern voice he rarely heard.

 

“He stops it, doesn’t he?”

 

And that was that. Neither had to say another word. The way Killua’s eyes grew a shade darker and turned away. Leorio never mentioned it again. He remained in happy silence that his little guy found a light of peace for his troubled mind.

Killua made a habit to convince Leorio to take him to the cafe, even though he never worked. He spent the majority of the time waiting impatiently for Gon to arrive. The two would hang out until Kurapika couldn’t stand Leorio’s endless flirting anymore and took off with Gon to do miscellaneous errands or whatever. This bundle of emotions continued for several weeks, going on two months, before Leorio was starting to get irritated with Killua’s not-so-subtle crush.

 

“Kil’. Seriously. Ask him out. It doesn’t even have to be a date, just a bro hang out.” Leorio lectured Killua during his lunch break, a few minutes before Gon and Kurapika’s scheduled visit. He flaunted his remaining chicken wing bone like shaking his finger disapprovingly. “Develop the friendship more, if possible. Eventually it’ll be a whole dating situation, and--”

 

“I don’t like him!”

 

“--you’ll be able to enjoy your first relationship. Having a boyfriend--”

 

“I don’t want to be his boyfriend!”

 

“--isn’t all that bad. See, gay--”

 

“I am not gay!”

 

“--isn’t an insult anymore. It’s a way of life, a genetically proven thing.”

 

“Are you even listening to me?!”

 

“No, no I am not. Because you are a terrible liar.”

 

Killua, face burning with a combination of embarrassment and rage, was mentally planning Leorio’s death before a tap on his shoulder distracted him.

 

“Hey, Killua, you alright? You seem kinda angry.” Gon tilted his head curiously, hazel eyes glossed with slight concern. He had the same childish gaze he normally wore, where he seemed more interested than worried. Of course, Killua unadmittedly found it adorable.

 

“Oh, no I’m fine!” Killua spun around to focus wholeheartedly on Gon. He absentmindedly scratched the back of his head and tugged the hem of his shirt with his freehand. “Leorio was just being stupid as usual.” Neither noticed when Kurapika had to hold the butt of the joke back from murdering a fourteen-year-old boy.

 

“Really? ‘Cause your face is super red.” Gon gingerly poked Killua’s burning cheek with his index finger. “Your face is really hot, too! When that happens to me, Pika says I have a fever.”

 

Gon droned on about fever stories and ways to treat them, but Killua wasn’t listening. All of his focus was directed towards the soft finger sending electricity through his entire body. He didn’t even notice the snickers from the elder two when Gon flattened his palm to hold the blushing cheek with care. Killua tensed up and inhaled a sharp breath, causing Gon to retreat and the observing duo to burst into poorly concealed laughter.

 

“Oh, did I hurt you?” Gon’s obviously concerned face gave Killua a twitch of guild in his heart.

 

“H..huh?” Killua blinked himself from his dazed mental state that he compared to a sweltering sauna. He responded embarrassedly once he fully processed the words. “Oh! N-No, I just...thought of something! I was just shocked!”

 

Leorio groaned loudly and Kurapika chuckled when Killua laughed forcefully to offset the tension.

 

“Leorio, I think Killua is seriously lacking in the love department.” Kurapika observed the interaction from one table over, legs crossed with his chin leaning on his palm. “For someone who claims to be the romance guru, you really don’t raise your disciple very well.”

 

“Hey, he just doesn’t listen to the master!” Leorio gestured to himself vaguely, ignoring the blonde’s eyerolls. “But, believe me, he’ll have his target in his arms in seconds!”

 

“Oh, I’m sure,” Kurapika stated sarcastically. “Look, this has been going on long enough. Even though Gon isn’t as straightforward with romantic feelings, I’m sure he likes Killua, too. At this point, I don’t think Killua will be able to function otherwise.”

 

“Hey, I’m working on it. I just need to--”

 

“No no, I think you’ve done enough. Which is absolutely nothing.” Kurapika stood up and professionally brushed off his “casual” dress shirt. “I think I’ll step in now.”

 

“Woah woah woah, wait a second--” Leorio’s cries of defiance reached deaf ears, so he was forced to watch from a distance.

 

“Hey guys, having fun?” Kurapika warmly entered the conversation, giving Killua a mental rest from his emotional stress.

 

“Yeah, we’re doing alright. Kinda boring at the cafe, though.” Gon nodded at Killua’s statement, and they both sighed.

 

“Well, why don’t we set up a time to meet up outside of your work days? We could go to that amusement park down the street!” Kurapika clapped his hands together in parent-like excitement, slyly eyeing Killua for a reaction. The snow haired child stared into space with a smile and a light blush.

 

“The X Park?! Really?! Can we really go?!?!” Gon was absolutely beaming, bouncing ecstatically while spinning to face Killua. “Could you go this Saturday? Please? It’s gonna be so much fun! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”

 

Gon’s eyes shimmered with the convincing power of twelve puppies asking for attention all at once. A human being would have to be crazy to deny a look like that, and Killua certainly wasn’t crazy.

 

“Y-Yeah, I’d love to go. It sounds like fun!” Gon jumped and cheered happily, oblivious to Killua smiling at his feet drawing circles in the rug.

 

“Alright, so is Saturday fine? Leorio, you free that day?” Leorio, mostly not paying attention to the interaction, (he really believed his method would have been more effective, but noooo…) jolted to attention then lagged to Kurapika’s side.

 

“...What’s the question?”

 

“‘Are you free Saturday?’, you dingus.”

 

“Oh, oh...this Saturday? Well, I don’t have any classes...and I could easily get out of work if I convince my bosses enough.”

 

“Great! Then we can all finally hang out on a weekend!”

 

Leorio and Kurapika discussed the best time among other things, and Killua half-listened as Gon spewed all the details of a place he hadn’t been to. He was mentally flipping through his limited wardrobe to pick out the best outfit for this totally not date.

 

And, when Saturday morning came, the nervous kid was still having doubts.

Leorio and Killua waited at a small park to meet up with the other too. Killua insisted on being fifteen minutes early, and he was the one pacing impatiently while Leorio seemed too relaxed on the bench.

 

Killua spent an embarrassingly long amount of time putting his outfit together, and it was only a simple T-shirt with some jeans. A small backpack hung on his shoulders with all the things he thought he would need--an umbrella, his keys, his 3DS, a wallet with little-to-nothing in it, a flashlight, his black sweatshirt, sunscreen, (even though it was sixty-four degrees and cloudy) and his phone.

 

“Kil’, relax. I know you’re nervous for your first date, but--”

 

“I’m not nervous! And it’s not a date!”

 

“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that, kid.” Leorio’s level of comfort bothered Killua. He only wore a plain white shirt with regular blue jeans. His typical medical suitcase, looking more packed than usual, took the seat beside him. He pretty much just wore the first set of clothes he got his hands on. Killua refused to believe Leorio tried in the least, and it put his hours of thought to waste.

 

“Hey, they’re here.”

 

Killua turned in time to see Gon rushing towards him with Kurapika slowly striding after him. Killua was captivated by Gon’s baggy tank top with a green kaleidoscope pattern, army green shorts poked out from beneath. So captivated, in fact, that Killua was knocked over in one fell swoop when Gon dove at him with the overzealous glomp. The following blonde casually sat next to a half-asleep Leorio to watch the teens laugh and struggling to untangle from each other.

 

“You think it’ll work?” Leorio mumbled to Kurapika.

 

“Of course it will. I’m clearly a lot better at this than you.”

 

“Screw you.”

 

“At least take me out to dinner first.”

 

“Hey, Kurapika! Can we go now?” Gon was latched on to Killua’s arm and pulled the tomato child to the lounging college students. “I wanna try the HUGE rollercoaster! It’s gotta be so much fun!”

 

“Alright, alright...we can start heading over there now. Let’s go.”

 

Gon cheered and bounced ecstatically, violently shaking his captive with him. Everyone but Killua, feigning anger for his brain being roughly bashed against his skull, was smiling and laughing until Gon felt something delicate and small hit his temple. He looked up to see ominous rainclouds slowly moving with some sinister mission.

 

“Oh...it looks like it’s gonna rain…” Kurapika stated blandly, refusing to look at Gon’s face of pure sadness and crushing disappointment. The sight was the equivalent of seeing a bunch of puppies being kicked repeatedly, stuffed into a bloody bag, and chucked off a bridge two hundred feet above a river covered in a light sheet of ice.

Dramatic explanation, but that’s what Killua felt watching Gon’s realization.

 

“I’m really sorry, Gon. We could try next weekend, right?” More raindrops fell and Kurapika rubbed Gon’s back compassionately to ease his sorrows. It seemed to be working, Killua thought while he decided not to leave Gon’s weakening grip.

 

“Yeah, I guess so. We could go back home and hang out there, right?” The hopeful question brightened the hazel eyes, and the owner’s grip tightened again.

 

“Sure! We’ll walk there instead,” Kurapika nodded while easing a crimson umbrella out of his beige satchel (a shoulder bag Killua referred to as a “man purse”) and opened it flawlessly. “Did you bring your umbrella, Gon?”

 

The one in question breathed a nervous laugh and scratched the nape of his neck. Kurapika sighed disappointedly and looked at Leorio to ask the same question. He rapidly shook his head before a word was spoken and the responsible blonde rolled his eyes.

 

“Uhm,” Killua spoke up just as the rain began to pick up and took out and opened his lavender umbrella. “I brought mine, if that helps. I guess we’ll have to share…” Blue eyes tried to steal a secret glance to Gon beside him and quickly looked to the ground before being noticed. Kurapika, however, noticed it immediately.

 

“Okay! Because of the whole height issue, I guess you two will share and Leorio and I--” The previously tired man stood up instantly and snatched the umbrella from Kurapika’s slender fingers before he could finish. He gestured to the empty spot next to him under the portable shelter with a really awkward eyebrow wiggle.

 

Gon laughed as Kurapika uncomfortably stood next to Leorio, and he took his spot unnervingly close next to Killua. The taller two decided to lead the way, and the others followed closely behind.

 

“You know, this is kinda romantic,” Leorio smirked and stroked his chin along with his ego.

 

“I suppose it is, I’ll admit that.” Leorio was surprised by the normally stand-offish target of his affection, and was further taken back by the blonde locking his arm with his and resting his head onto the taller shoulder.

 

Leorio attempted to play off his flustered state and turn the tables in his favor. “Well well well, it seems you’ve finally come to your senses.”

 

“Hm, I don’t think I’d say that. If anything, I’d say I’ve lost my sense.” Leorio attempted to counter the comment, but Kurapika used the hesitation to continue. “I suppose I have a thing for idiots.”

 

The insult didn’t process as well as the compliment, and Leorio smiled proudly. They walked in peaceful silence, partially aware of the pair of eyes drilled into their backs.

 

Gon watched with intent curiosity as his parental figure easily flirted without any problems or hesitations. He was never a romantic type, and Kurapika simply told him that love was a stronger emotion than he thought. He figured that Killua offering his sweatshirt to be warm and dry meant some kind of lovey-dovey thing. In an aimless attempt to be just as successful, Gon cautiously replicated Kurapika’s movements.

 

Killua’s mind was elsewhere (mostly nervous about being at Gon’s house for the first time) so when Gon intertwined their arms, he unintentionally jumped fearfully and turned to Gon with wide eyes and red cheeks. Afraid he’d done something wrong, Gon retreated and looked away at the very uninteresting hedges.

 

“O-Oh no, I’m sorry! I-I just...uhm…” Killua tried to reassure Gon that he really did nothing bad, to get the feeling on his arm again. He was afraid he hurt his feelings and settled on making his first move.

 

Anxiety reverberated through his skeleton as he forced his hand to pass the umbrella to his left so his right would be free. Slowly, his arm rose and pulled Gon close by his shoulder. They both stiffened instantly, but Gon was the first to relax into the situation. He rested his head on his shoulder, adjusting so his hair wasn’t in Killua’s face, and continued walking in peaceful bliss.

 

Killua was beginning to feel more confident because of Gon’s response, and he gently drew circles on Gon’s shoulder and even rested his head on his.

 

The slightly older of the two thought about the situation for the moment and decided on his next action instantly. He removed his head from its resting place and swung around to capture Killua into a gentle hug, nuzzling his face into his neck as they stood still under the umbrella.

 

Killua, stunned for only a moment, comfortably wrapped his arms around small biceps. It was silent besides the heavy rain drumming on the umbrella and dancing with the leaves. Neither moved, neither talked. Killua tightened his grip protectively before pulling back and looking into the eyes that quickly became his favorite sight. Boldness mixed with fear shook his insides before he resolved to close the distance in a way unfamiliar to them both.

 

Killua slowly, very wary of any sign of regret, pressed his lips together with Gon’s for a short, chaste kiss.

 

When they separated their eyes were locked, searching for any reason to run away screaming in embarrassment. Neither saw nor felt remorse in the other and dove back in.

 

Gon’s arms swung around to play with fluffy, white hair, and Killua subconsciously dropped the umbrella to hold him around the waste. There was no sexual desire or anything like that. Frankly, the two fourteen-year-olds found such actions to be disgusting. They just simultaneously felt that was the best way to express whatever feeling they didn’t know how to voice. They didn’t even feel the cold raindrops wetting their hair and clothes or hear the millions of drops coating the quiet footsteps growing in their direction.

 

So, because they were lost in the moment, neither expected Leorio’s larger hands to suddenly attack them both.

 

“Boo!” Leorio laughed wildly at Killua’s squeak of guilty terror and Gon’s jumping retreat of confusion. Kurapika snickered, holding his own umbrella above them all. He slowly offered the soaked, partially wind damaged umbrella Killua let fly.

 

“I think you dropped this.” Killua took it without a word, face completely flushed and tense. Kurapika turned to Leorio smugly and forced the other umbrella into his hands. “See, I told you it’d work.”

 

“What would work?” Gon seemed to be unphased by the situation, and his curiosity heavily overpowered his nonexistent embarrassment. He watched as Leorio took the umbrella with an angry pout glued to his face.

 

“Oh, I guess we can say it now.” Kurapika dusted off his hands and looked apologetically to Gon. “Sorry, Gon, I knew it would rain today. But don’t get too upset, I bought seasonal passes for all of us to go next week.”

 

“Woah, really?! That’s so cool! Thank you, Pika!” Gon squeezed him tightly around the waist where he could reach, and Kurapika playfully ruffled the spiky hair with an elated laugh. They, in Killua’s eyes, looked like the happiest family imaginable. “But...why did you lie?”

 

“Well,” Kurapika dragged out the intro to his explanation, glancing at the taller man who shot a glare in return. “Leorio and I made a bet that I could get you guys to finally confess, and I thought this situation would be the most romantic.”

 

“You...You knew this would happen?!” Killua spoke for the first time in a while, hoping his tone was angry enough to offset the obvious voice crack and intense blushing. It wasn’t.

 

“Yeah, it was kinda obvious,” Leorio scoffed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I could’ve gotten you two together. If you just listened to my advice…”

 

“You say that, but you have been trying for many months, and I got them to kiss on the first try.”

 

“Don’t talk about us like we’re not here!! Or like some kind of...social experiment!!” Killua, still not over the entire scenario, tried to let off steam, but Gon quietly intertwined their fingers and swung their hands adorably, the sleeve of the slightly-too-big sweatshirt brushing against his arm. That shut him up instantly.

 

“We might as well go home still, hang out a little. It’s only 4.” They all agreed, paired up with their partners, and continued on their trail. Leorio would occasionally look back to see Gon swinging their hands, talking about things they could do at his house, and Killua listened intently with a bright smile.

 

“Alright, I’ll admit,” He sighed to get Kurapika’s attention. “You did a good job, I guess…”

 

“I know,” The blonde laughed to boost his pompous ego. “And since I won the bet, I think you should fork over the reward.”

 

“We didn’t establish one, so I’m not so sure if I should--”

 

Kurapika spun on his heels and pulled Leorio’s shirt collar down to his level so their lips could crash together with much less innocent intent. It only lasted a moment, so the giggling children behind remained unaware.

 

“We’ll settle that when we get to my place,” Kurapika smiled deviously before walking as if nothing happened, laughing at Leorio’s speechless face. “I told you I had a thing for stupid people.”

 

Later, some while after the rain had faded to a light drizzle and the umbrellas were stashed away, the four came upon an amazing sight neither Killua nor Leorio expected to see.

 

Off into the distance, the blue scaled roof of a wide, two story house began to peek from the horizon. The near-mansion was perfectly symmetrical--the center line consisted of grand double doors with detailed carvings of mythical dragons sat under the bay and bow window shimmering from the dew drops glistening in the moonlight. The left of the building mirrored the right, with three 3 Lite End-Vent Slider windows on both floors, navy blue windowpanes contrasting the dirtless red bricks coating the outer walls. Killua noticed last that the angled roof had four large horizontal pivot windows separated by sizeable solar panels.

 

Kurapika removed some keys from his satchel to unlock a grand, victorian style gate opening up to the courtyard. As soon as the black iron gate swung open, Gon dashed through the entryway to eagerly show off the circular hedges and trees trimmed to represent historical figures lining the marbled pathways. A few dim lights shone weakly through the first floor windows, and silhouettes shuffled mysteriously throughout.

 

“Woah, are you guys rich or something?” Leorio looked around, jaw dropped in jealousy -stained awe. “I knew you were pretentious, but I didn’t think you were actually loaded!”

 

“I technically got it from my dad’s will,” Kurapika stated emotionlessly, elbowing Leorio sharply in his rib cage. “He was a very successful doctor and, and my mom was of the most dependable lawyers of her age.”

 

“Oh, sorry about your parents,” Leorio huffed, even though his sympathy reached deaf ears as Kurapika calmly unlocked the front doors.

 

“Eh, don’t worry about it. With all that money and success, some thieves were bound to come for their heads.” Heavy oak doors swung open to a grand foyer, a grand staircase curving to the next floor on both sides of a hollow, metal frame leading to a long hallway lined with a red, velvet rug. Tall, arched doorways on the left and the right led to gorgeous corridors with heavy doors hiding mystery behind them. A girl, the equivalent of Killua being turned into a girl, entered from the right corridor with expectant eyes and extended arms to Kurapika.

 

“Satchel, Mr. Kurta?” Her voice was monotone and pitched like a woman in her early twenties, like an automated voice message.

 

“Thank you, Eeta. This is Leorio Paladiknight and Killua Zoldyck, friends of Gon and I. They’ll be staying the night.”

 

“Huh? Really?” Gon looked between Kurapika and Eeta, letting Killua play with his fingers nervously. “That’s so cool! Like a sleepover! Can I show Killua my room?”

 

“Yeah, go ahead. Want to show him the guest room, first?” Gon nodded pulled Killua upstairs, laughing as he stumbled over the carpeted stairs.

 

“Have they let go of eachother’s hands yet?” Leorio murmured.

 

“Any dinner request, Mr. Kurta?”

 

Leorio nearly jumped out of his skin, the female-operator voice surprising him from the left corridor.

 

“E-Eeta? But weren’t you…” He turned to where he last saw the kind waitress, and there she still stood with those crystal eyes blinking blandly. He turned back towards the left to see the same girl that surprised him. “There are two of them?”

 

“That’s not how you treat very polite twins, Leorio.” Kurapika shook his head and sighed. “That is Elena, our excellent cook.”

 

“You flatter me too much, Mr. Kurta.”

 

Kurapika insisted she deserved all of his respect and requested some kind of complicated pasta name that sounded super expensive as well as delicious. He then led his tall guest to a grand social room, furnished with maroon, navy and gold accented couches and coffee tables. A large, flat-screen TV sat mounted above a stone lined fireplace, already lit with a crackling flame.

 

“You are unbelievably loaded, man. Does a doctor really make this much money?” Leorio, unsure where sit in fear of harming the perfectly fluffed cushions, was feeling more sure about his career choice.

 

“Well, both of my parents were very successful. They traveled a lot to do speeches and all that, knew a lot of other rich people or whatever.” A servant with long, black hair walked in with a tray of tea. Kurapika promptly thanked her with his model smile.

 

“So you can just afford servants?”

 

“No, I don’t pay them. Most of them were down on their luck, and my parents gave them a place to live, eat, and socialize. They’re more like old friends.”

 

“Thanks, Kurapika,” the waitress, Amane according to Kurapika, said casually with a hand on her hip. “By the way, the little rascal’s new boyfriend or whatever says he doesn’t have any pajamas. You think he could fit one of Gon’s?”

 

“Oh, I brought some for him to wear,” Leorio spoke up, placing his briefcase in his lap and removing Killua’s normal worn, white T-shirt and grey sweatpants with occasional holes patched with duct tape.

 

“Huh?! That little kid wears that?!” Amane snatched the makeshift pajamas and examined them, pinching them with disgust. “No no, this is NOT going to happen.”

 

Leorio tried insisting neither needed new sleepwear, but Amane ignored him while shouting orders into an earpiece for other servants to hear. A few minutes later, a massive, well-built woman stomped her way in. One look at the rags crumped the old face in an instant, and the woman plucked them away to vanish elsewhere mysteriously.

 

“H-Hey, where is she taking them?” Leorio, still dismayed, sat alert with his hands holding where they were once holding the clothes.

 

“Tsubone is going to burn those atrocious rags and make some more fitting.” Amana dusted off her hands proudly and puffed up her chest. “Don’t worry, she’ll make some for you as well.”

 

She marched off before Leorio should complain. Mere moments later, Tsubone came back with some measuring tape to threatened a shaken med student to let her easily get his measurements.

 

Upstairs, Gon sat on his soft green rug in his nicely sized bedroom, laughing as Killua brushed his entire body as an attempt to rid himself of the uncomfortable feeling Tsubone left on him.

 

“I told that hag I didn’t need any crappy measurements! Ugh, it feels disgusting!!”

 

“She only did some measurements, it’s fine,” Gon felt his sides splitting from laughter as he began to roll around uncontrollably. He could barely get his words out. “She makes some pretty nice clothes! They’re comfortable, too!”

 

“Yeah, but...I’m just not used to it…”

 

Both guests were measured against their will, dinner was completed and devoured, and Tsubone had already completed and gifted two pairs of silk pajamas. Killua, uncomfortable with the fancy feel, looked at his plaid shirt and pants with a blue monochromatic color scheme. He had to admit, even though he wasn’t used it, the sleepwear did feel nice on his bare skin. Gon had the same kind that were green instead, and he said he thought the matching thing was cute before leaving Killua in his spacious guest bedroom.

 

He curled up under the heavy comforter and felt himself sinking into the fluffy mattress. As comfy as it was and as peaceful as he felt, he found himself unable to sleep for a while. When he finally dozed off and his eyes drifted close, a loud clap of thunder seemed to burst his eardrums. Killua jolted awake with a harsh gasp, sapphire eyes searching the room for an answer. Thunder returned for an encore, and lightning lit up the room. Killua squeaked in fear and pulled the covers over his head so only a white fluff poked through the top.

 

Killua has always hated thunder storms. They were loud, random, violent, and just flat out scary. He never admitted it, but he had a feeling Leorio was aware and never said anything. When storms would linger around their busted apartment, when the rain would attack the steel roof and the wind would rattle the loose windows, Killua would quietly sneak to Leorio’s mattress and lay next to him. Leorio, as irresponsible as he seemed, was very considerate.

 

However, he didn’t know where Leorio’s room was. Chances are, he was fooling around in Kurapika’s room, but he didn’t know where that was either. Even if he did know, there was no way he was taking the chance to witness the second most scarring event of his young life.

 

He thought about these dilemmas of his in a deep, comatose state. When he came to, he found himself hugging a memory foam pillow standing barefoot in front of Gon’s bedroom door.

 

He mumbled into his pillow and knocked on the oak door quietly, afraid to wake him up even though it was his intention. No response came, so he knocked again with slightly more force. Nothing again, so he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

 

Gon’s bedroom had a semi-ellipse shape with a curving platform leading up to the bed, where Killua could see the soft rise and fall of blissful sleep. A twinge of guilt tugged at his heart, but he took a step in and closed the door behind him regardless. It closed with a click and a thud, causing the light breathing suddenly quickened and changed pace. Gon’s silhouette of tufted, spiky hair swaying from fatigue.

 

“...Killua?” He didn’t answer, so Gon kicked his legs over the side of the bed, hopped off, and slowly treked over to where Killua stood. “You okay?”

 

Thunder cracked fiercely, causing Killua to jump and squeeze the pillow tighter. Half-lidded hazel eyes gazed from blue eyes to the dark skies, occasionally brightening with flashes of lightning.

 

“Oh...don’t like thunder?” Killua shook his head, face buried into memory foam. Gon gently pried a pale hand from its pillow-death-grip and took it into his own. Delicate tugs and considerate leading to the circular master bed later, Gon pulled Killua into the bed. A few moments passed by as the two got comfortable before Gon wrapped his arms around his shaken friend, and Killua nuzzled his face into his tan neck. They sat in comfortable silence, small hands brushing white hair in soothing patterns, until sleep covered them both.

 

Killua had his first nightmare-less night in many years. It started off as they normally did, replaying torturous moments from his past and other imaginary scars. Halfway through, just when he could hear his brother’s voice echoing hypnotising commands, everything went silent and white. He started wondering if he had finally died until he felt a pleasant touch soothing the scars. He felt at peace, happily accepting the treatment he never questioned.

 

Killua woke up naturally, blinking weariness from his eyes, to a familiar scent. He adjusted his head to look up at Gon’s sleeping face, light breaths entering and exiting his parted lips. He noticed his partially opened eyes, suggesting awareness, fogged over with sleep. Gon slept with his eyes open. It’s kinda cute, Killua thought.

 

Afraid to disrupt him, Killua didn’t move from his dream inducing state and daydreamed instead. That was until the door creaked open and a blonde mop peeked from the opening.

 

“Hey, Gon, have you seen--”

 

He and Killua make eye contact for a moment in thoughtful silence before Leorio busted in with little to no consideration for the resting children.

 

“Yo, Pika, you found him or not?”

 

The three alert individuals looked between one another quietly before Gon shuffled and joined the stare down.

 

“That answers my question,” Leorio huffed and rubbed his eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to work now.”

 

Killua blinked lazily, noticing for the first time that Leorio had his pawn-shop work clothes on. He got out of bed without a thought and went to hug him. Leorio held him back and ruffled the younger’s hair. 

 

“Alright, I gotta go now. Go on and continue getting down and personal, I have to go now.”

 

He was already out the door and had left when Killua processed the suggestional scenario and began swinging wildly in blushing anger. Kurapika held him back as well as a laugh, and Gon stared off into space with jaded confusion.

It became a mutually agreed habit for Killua to spend the majority of his time at Kurapika and Gon’s house, at least whenever they were both at home. Especially when Leorio had long, never ending days, and he didn’t want Killua to spend too much time alone.

 

The mansion-like estate became a second home to Killua: he spent most of his time there and even slept over night; he knew all of the servants by name, and they knew him; he received expensive gifts for his birthdays and new clothes to wear instead of his casual rags. He was even able to join Gon’s private school with financial aid of Kurapika’s seemingly endless money supply.

 

Leorio, when he wasn’t at work, spent his nights at the Kurta estate. He playfully pestered the growing couple, did romantic happenings with the lovely blonde, and avoided the hassling servants.

 

They were all basically a family without any legal bondings, but Leorio was willing to change that.

 

“You’re really planning on proposing, dude?” Killua, seventeen-years-old and working to graduate high school, thought the idea of sealing the deal was a very nice thought. His only problem was that, if they did get married, it would make him and Gon siblings. Maybe it was just a personal preference, but Killua wasn’t into the whole incest thing.

 

“Well, I mean, we’ve been together for three years, we’re both adults, and neither of us are in college anymore. It just feels right.” Leorio had a distant look on his face, a smile creeping about and happiness fogging his eyes. Above all else, Killua felt happy for his legal guardian.

 

Leorio removed a small, velvet covered ring box from his suit pocket. He lifted the cap to reveal a simple gold ring, flat and rounded, with delicate embroideries making curly flowers and vines. He removed it from its cushioned resting place to show off the engraved text inside the ring saying “Chains That Never Rust”.

 

“What’s that mean?” Killua mumbled with a mouth full of chocolate oreo shake, a delicious concoction the mansion chef Machi made.

 

“We thought of some phrase that we both liked the sound of. The full saying was ‘Our Love Has Never Ending Trust, Just Like Chains That Never Rust’.”

 

“That’s so sweet. Now I’m gonna barf.”

 

Killua feigned intense gagging, swatting the twenty-four-year-old’s strangle attempts. They both laughed off the mock and began talking about other things before Gon entered the living area, taking a bee line for Killua.

 

“Hey, I’m about to go to the store. Need anything?” He spoke while fiddling with white hair, braiding and unbraiding the messy locks.

 

“Nah, I think I’m good. You need something, Leo?” Leorio shook his head and relaxed further on the expensive couch.

 

“Alright, then I’m off. Be back later!” The two teenagers shared a kiss before Gon left, shaking the house keys as he skipped away.

 

Killua and Leorio continued talking, but something was wrong. An uneasy feeling dispersed in the air like millions of dust particles; neither could see it coming, but they could tell something was off.

 

They knew their suspicions were real when hours had passed without Gon returning, and Kurapika called Leorio with screaming agony in his voice.

 

“Get to the hospital now!!”

 

“Babe, what’s up? Why are you screaming--”

 

“Just get over here!!” Hysteria filled his every word, throat strained and weak from wild sobbing. He was so loud, Killua could hear him clearly without speaker mode, as well as the nurse trying to calm him down. “Gon’s been really badly hurt, and he won’t wake up!”

_ After saying goodbye and kissing his boyfriend, Gon left his house and walked down the stone courtyard. He mentally checked his grocery list, realized his memory isn’t good enough, and gazed over his physical list. The grocery store was a mere fifteen walk away, so he had no problem getting a small bit of exercise along with food. _

 

_ The list itself wasn’t all that long, only some ingredients Machi needed for professional dishes and some other miscellaneous cravings. All the shopping took an hour at most, with the kind cashier’s help and Gon insisting she keep the one hundred dollar change, so he was out early with his seventeen grocery bags in a shopping cart he was allowed to borrow. _

 

_ Excited to get home, he found himself walking at a faster pace with a goofy smile on his face. He was very happy and figured nothing could get him down. Until two men, one of massive stature and pulsating muscles and the other half of his height with a black jacket collar covering his mouth, approached him from an alleyway. _

 

_ “Yo, Feitan,” the taller one growled menacingly, speaking more from the corner of his mouth so his eyes remained drilled to Gon’s entire core. “Doesn’t this brat kinda look like that pothead that tried to take our money ‘bout a decade ago?” _

 

_ “Yes, in fact he does,” Feitan replied, raspy voice sounding like he had a cold for six months or smoked a pack of cigarettes every day. Gon assumed the second was more likely. “Didn’t that sob story say he needed the money to help his son?” _

 

_ “He’s in prison now, idn’ he? We can’t get our payback on a guy stuck in the jail house.” Gon felt he should interrupt and find a way to escape, but he was distracted by their conversation. He always thought his dad was a pothead for selfish reasons, but he never considered the possibility of good intentions. _

 

_ “Yeah, but he really screwed us over for a while. Made us a gang of thieves instead.” Somehow, without any other bustlers on the street noticing, the two gang members had surrounded him and closed him into the alley. “He must’ve really cared for that son of his, Uvogin.” _

 

_ “Yeah...maybe we should give him something to come back to. Something that’ll make him sorry.” _

 

_ “Uhm, what are you…?” Gon tried to speak up in a scared, frail voice. Without a chance to finish, Uvogin cracked his knuckles threateningly and grabbed both of Gon’s arms, mere pencils compared to the calloused appendages. _

 

_ “W-Wait! What are you doing? I haven’t seen by dad in years! He probably forgot about me!” Gon continued to scream and flail, all attempts of escape and cries for help reached no one. His reasonable arguments for his life went ignored by the two thieves as they dragged them further down the alley. _

 

_ “Hey, Uvo. Shut him up.” _

 

_ A strong impact knocked his head forward, brain bashing against his skull, and everything went black. _

Leorio drove as fast as he could, stressed enough as it is without Killua’s panicked rushing. They completed the fifteen minute drive in two minutes, parked very crooked in a maybe-legal parking spot, and ran through the glass double doors to the Emergency Room. Killua beat Leorio by a mile, stumbling over his sickling feet to the reception desk. A red haired woman stood behind the counter, filing papers until she noticed the frenzied teenager.

 

“Hello, welcome to--”

 

“Gon?! Gon Freecs?! Where is he?! Is he okay?!”

 

“Sir, I need you to calm down--”

 

“I need to see him!! He has to be okay!!”

 

“I assure you, if you relax a bit--”

 

“Why won’t you just tell me where he is?!”

 

“Kil’.”

 

Killua turned around and cleaned his tearstreaked face, clearing his vision to see a red eyed Kurapika with soggy bags under his eyes.

 

“...They’re operating on him now…” His voice was bland and tired, sore from crying any amount of emotion he had out of his system. “They said we can’t see him now…”

 

Killua lost all desire to resist once he laid eyes on a face that looked to have suffered the sight of something much worse that the feeling alone. He said nothing else and decided to sulk by himself as Leorio held a dried out, emotionless Kurapika in hopes of lending some comfort.

 

Hours passed and the three refused to leave when different nurses asked politely. No one could manage to remove their sulking features from their face. Kurapika couldn’t move.

 

Midnight came around, and the faculty stopped trying to force the depressed trio out of the lobby and gave them blankets instead. Kurapika didn’t lie down. He didn’t sleep. A few minutes later, a doctor with long, blue hair exited from the operation room, and Killua stood up immediately.

 

“Are you the family and friends of Mr. Freecs?” Her voice was soft and concern filled.

 

“Is he alright? Is he doing okay?” Killua lost all energy to yell, and let his voice better represent his sorrow.

 

“He is sleeping now. I think he will be out of commission for a while.” The group sighed, relief relaxing over their bodies. Kurapika remained pessimistic.

 

“But...he was hurt very badly.” She slowly shifted her gaze to Kurapika as he shuddered at the words. “I believe...one of you saw him before his immediate care.”

 

Leorio and Killua looked to Kurapika, the sound of his delirious voice over the phone resonated through their minds. The blonde could feel the eyes on him, but he didn’t react. His blue eyes fogged over slightly with tormented visions; visions of his closest family member beaten to a miserable, bloody pulp to the point where he could only recognize two things.

 

“You can go in to see him, but I can’t assure that you will like what you see.”

 

They all decided to take their chances, and Kurapika stood with his eyes drilled to the floor tiles. Leorio guided him with a gentle hook on his elbow towards Gon’s patient room. The nurse pushed the door open and let the three file in. Killua stopped in his tracks when he saw the figure sinking in the shallow hospital bed.

 

Most of his body was coated in bandages, imposing the mortifying image of his boyfriend already dead and mummified. Small plastic tubes poked out between the bandages covering his nose so he could breathe. His bandaged chest made several irregular rises and falls, indicating poor attempts of efficient breaths. The occasional bare patch of skin exposed from the bandages revealed blood stained flesh littered with bruises, stab wounds, and third- and fourth-degree burns.

 

“G...Gon?” Killua asked the room, barely above a whisper. He slowly dragged his feet to one of the bedside chairs and lifted his unidentifiable boyfriend’s hand to hold gently. No bandages circled the ruined fingers, so he slowly and unsurely linked their fingers together. He kissed the back of the hand that lost the soft touch he loved so much.

 

“Ah...he’s gotten better…” Kurapika mumbled mostly to himself. Killua’s eyes widened in unbelievable fear.

 

“H...He was worse than this?” Kurapika barely nodded, and Killua choked back a sob. “Gon...please wake up...I love you...so much…”

 

Everyone was silent as the nurse had left and Kurapika sat down in the other visitor chair, Leorio kneeling on the floor beside him. No one knew exactly when, but everyone had drifted asleep and awoke in the same position as before.

 

Killua rubbed small circles on the back of Gon’s hand, working not at all to wake himself up. He then realized he heard some soft mumbling coming from the other side of the bed, barely audible above Gon’s heart monitor. He chose not to move and listened instead.

 

“Gon...don’t worry, Gon…” Kurapika’s raspy voice sent gentle vibrations through the sheets. “I know who did this to you...I won’t let them get away with it...I’ll destroy them for taking you away from me…”

 

Something in Killua’s mind felt he wasn’t reacting correctly. He should have acted, he thought, in a terrified manner desperate to immediately call the police. But he instead remained completely calm and rose his head to gain the homicidal blonde’s attention.

 

“...Take me with you.”

 

The silent room echoed with the haunting, endless beep of Gon’s heart monitor giving up completely.

Leorio woke, devastated to hear the news of Gon’s final moments. He, in an act of complete depression, returned to medical school to earn a higher degree. He had to become the greatest doctor, he thought.

 

He would NOT let someone else die like this. He would NOT let anyone feel like he did.

 

As a result, he rarely went outside. He never noticed when Killua and Kurapika left the house with a large bag of mysterious supplies.

 

“You sure you want to come along?” Kurapika’s voice was rough and monotone. He refused to make eye contact, not out of timidity but focused rage. “I don’t plan to hold anything back.”

 

“I’m sure.” He wasn’t entirely sure. The sight of blood reminded him of all the torture he was forced to endure at his young age. Because of Gon, he hadn’t thought of it for years. Now he couldn’t stop. “I want these assholes to burn.”

 

“I assure you, they will.” They continued walking with intense determination, Kurapika leading the way.

 

“Wait, how do you know who did it?”

 

“I noticed two things when I saw Gon’s mutilated body.” Killua cringed at the thought, and Kurapika continued with only hatred existing within him. “I recognized him instantly by the hairstyle, which was left untouched. I also noticed a deep engraving in his stomach.”

 

“Was it some gang symbol?”

 

“It was a spider in its web, purposefully drawn miserably.” He clenched the bag tightly, enough to make his fingers bleed. “The same symbol I found on my parents’ stomachs when I came home from school.”

 

“So...you’re saying…?”

 

“The same gang of thieves that killed my parents killed Gon.” Kurapika stopped suddenly before the city’s dump. He removed heavy duty wire cutters from his bag to cut the chains holding the gates closed. “The same gang of thieves that took my family away the first time took the light of my life away once again.” He pushed the gates open with strength Killua didn’t know he had and took a small handgun from the bag.

 

“These sons of bitches have no right to breathe a single particle of oxygen on the damned earth.”

 

Killua was taken back by his sudden use of foul language and had to rush to catch up with Kurapika’s tenacious step. They came across a group of thirteen people in a large circle, most of them lounging around on furniture trash and the rest standing with relaxed poses. None of them noticed the duo’s existence until Kurapika shot the handgun with impeccable aim, instantly killing one of the smaller members with long, pale hair.

 

“What the hell?! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

 

Kurapika didn’t respond with words, but instead fired the pistol two more times to cripple a large man with dangling earlobes and another man with enhanced muscles, Uvogin. The other gang members swung around to either defend or run, one of the faces Killua recognized instantly.

 

“Kalluto…”

 

The younger male looked in response to his name, shocked to see familiar snow white hair. Kalluto’s shoulder length hair was the same as Killua remembered, and he still wore his favorite type of kimono. Neither had known where the other disappeared to, and neither had expected to ever see each other again.

 

“Killua? What are you doing here? And why did your friend--”

 

“Did you hurt Gon?”

 

Everyone became quiet before someone began snickering in the back, and then bursting into uncontrollable laughter. The one laughing was the shirtless buff man Kurapika had shot in the leg, and the holder of the gun was growing angrier.

 

“Oh, you’re here for that twerp? Gotta say, felt pretty good to take all my aggressions on a kid that cried and screamed as much as he did. I think we all enjoyed it, though. He was such a little p--”

 

Kurapika was next to him in seconds, toe blade ready for the kicking. The first kick was aimed straight into his groin, the blade piercing the sensitive flesh. Uvogin screamed in agony, trying to bite his tongue in an attempts to act tough. Kurapika twisted his foot roughly, breaking Uvogin’s shield instantly. He withdrew his foot and kick stabbed his leg exactly where the bullet struck him.

 

“You hurt him, did you?” Kurapika had merciless bloodlust in his voice, angrily kicking in painful yet non vital spots. “You kill my parents to get some money, and then you kill the brightest thing of my life for no reason?”

 

“There’s no reason to be so bitter,” Uvogin spat in between cries of pain. “That brat’s dad deserved to see his son’s body destroyed!”

 

Kurapika was done listening. His rage made his heart race where he could hear only the pounding in his ears. He reached into the bag for a double barrel shotgun and cocked it immediately. Two bullets broke the muscle and dug to the bone of Uvogin’s other leg. He barely had the chance to scream before another two pierced his neck, forcing him to drown in his own blood with a scared gaze widening his eyes. One he stopped flailing, Kurapika turned to the others who had been too stunned to move.

 

“So you all had a part in this?”

 

No one moved for a long time, but everyone charged at Kurapika in hopes of taking him down all at once. One by one, they all fell in brutal ways. Except Kalluto, who was forced to stay behind because of Killua’s grip.

 

“So you did hurt him.”

 

“Killua, it’s part of this family or whatever. I had to! And why does it matter--”

 

“I still have nightmares, Kalluto. Flashbacks. That twerp you helped kill? He made me forget all that.” Killua switched his grip to the kimono, lifting the younger sibling easily above the ground. “You killed the most important thing to me. And I’m not going to let you off easy just because you’re some mommy’s-boy assbag that never liked me anyway.”

 

Killua threw Kalluto to the litter covered ground and put all of his effort into stomping and kicking any part of the frail, pitiless sibling he could reach. Just when he was beginning to cough up blood, a wet hand rested on his shoulder. He spun around to see Kurapika, clothes and skin hit with dozens of splatters of blood. Blonde tips were seeping red, small drips falling onto uncaring features.

 

“Don’t do it.”

 

“What do you mean ‘Don’t do it’?! Didn’t we come here to--”

 

“No, Killua. I’ll do it.” Cherry blossom eyes looked up to them, begging, before Kurapika raised his shotgun and blew the small head into meaty chunks. “There’s no reason for you to have this on your conscience, too. You have more to live for, Killua.”

 

“...What do you mean?”

 

“I’ll all out of life. The police are likely to catch me, and I don’t think I mind.:

 

They sat there, silently staring at eachother until they heard police sirens growing from the distance. Kurapika looked to Killua and, for the first time since Gon’s hospitalization, smiled. He put a bloodstained hand on his shoulder, and Killua could feel the blood seeping through his shirt.

 

“Don’t worry about me, okay? Tell that to Leorio, too. I’ll miss that idiot.”

 

“Pika, no! There’s still a chance to escape! There’s no reason to just give up--”

 

“Killua. Gon was killed for his father’s actions. I’m not done yet.”

 

Police cars sped recklessly through the gates to where the two stood, emotionless faces standing above thirteen dead bodies. Kurapika immediately turned himself in, readily admitting his dealings with the murder and proving Killua’s innocence.

 

A policeman escorted Killua back to the large estate where Leorio was studying. It took everything he had in him not to burst into tears upon telling Leorio that his desired fiance was heartbroken to a frozen heart and would be spending a life sentence in jail.

 

The two remainders of the pair of couples, once to madly in love, were torn apart in an agonizing circumstance. Killua was stuck between never wanting to be in the house with the best memories of his life and never wanting to leave in a depressed state of immobility. Leorio went to visit Kurapika in jail once a week whenever he found the time. The mood became more and more tense until it all ended one day.

 

“Hey, babe,” Leorio murmured sleepily, still happy to see the one he cared for. Even if he had changed so much.

 

“...Hello.”

 

“You doing alright?”

 

“...I guess.”

 

“You find Ging yet?”

 

“...Yes. I’m waiting for the best time.”

 

“I see. Good plan, good plan.” An uncomfortable pause. “So, I still love--”

 

“Leorio.”

 

“Hm?”

 

Kurapika lifted a pair of handcuffs with red and yellow scars all over it.

 

“The chains have rusted.”

 

Leorio paused, jaw agape and heart instantly shattered. Kurapika stood without a word and was escorted by the guard monitoring his behavior. He sat there, waiting too long to put the phone on the hook and standing from his chair.

 

Killua, whenever he couldn’t stand the lingering aura of Gon in the house, forced himself to run off the courtyard as far away as he could before he had to go back to sleep. He discovered a habit of his to go to the roof of his private school, balancing precariously off the edge with weighing thoughts in his mind. The flashbacks were more frequent, no matter where he was of what he was doing. They felt more real, hurt a lot more. And even worse, he wasn’t the only one being tortured. Gon had joined him in the session, his cries of excruciating pain lingering and haunting his waking and dreaming mind. 

 

He’s not safe anywhere, he thought. The one thing that managed to stop all the pain was gone, and he couldn’t think stand the suffering.

 

If he were to fall off the ledge, he thought, he wouldn’t be a burden to Leorio anymore. If he were to fall and not be caught, he could feel real physical pain before he felt nothing. If he were to fall and end it all, he could see Gon again and be with him forever.

 

So what was he waiting for?

 

So, one day, he let go.

 

Leorio was alone and broken at the core and out. He couldn’t stand being in the house, and he never wanted to be there ever again. He managed to sign the rights of all the money and the property to the lead servant, Gotoh, and let them do as they pleased. He was done, he felt dead.

 

One by one, the four young ones who only wanted love slowly became dead in the eyes and the heart. Some bodies grew cold, all hearts turned to ice. The perfect connections change hearts, but not always for the better.


End file.
